Life – As We Know It.
I feel that at times life can be absolutely unexplainable and random…and yet, here we are living each moment one day at a time. I’d even go as far as to say that, that in itself is the hardest conceivable task that we do – to live, survive, to exist.
As Anton Chekov put it and brilliantly I have to add, “Any idiot can face a crisis – it’s day to day living that wears you out.”
So why are we even here? Perhaps for some of us religion does half the explaining, and for others dwelling upon the matter. Maybe all of us as superior species do in fact have a purpose in life, I’d be willing to bet we do. I couldn’t imagine one without purpose. I don’t know about everyone else and I can only speak for myself. I know that sometimes when I’m down and the world makes no sense, and I wonder why we’re burdened with the discovery. I wish I just knew how my life was going to turn out, what I have to do, how I have to do it, how my actions will play out and at the end just see it all working out perfectly. It just seems as though the key to life is so visible and yet so out of our reach. Sometimes I wish I just knew, I mean what’s the harm right. Why can’t we just know? Of course we wish the answers to these, and perhaps many more, were conveniently served to us on a silver platter – it would eliminate several obstacles and save us from the emotional trauma.
I mean you’re here one moment and for all you know the next you’re gone. There is no life security what so ever. You can walk out of your house and get hit by a car, stabbed to death, shot or die a natural death. I don’t meant to sound sadistic pessimist, but it’s true right? No one really knows when they’ll take their last breath.
I don’t know what I want from my life, and I haven’t gotten it all figured out yet…and that scares me, because I’m only getting older and I just think by now I should be well on my way to wherever it is I should be going – I just don’t know where that is yet, you do see the dilemma here right?
There are things that I don’t know, that I want to know and that I know I will only find out with the passage of time. But what I do know with certainty is that I don’t want to die an unlived life. I don’t want to die with regrets, I don’t want to die a meaningless death, and I do not want to die as someone that I am not proud of and as the kind of person that I don’t want to be.
All my life I’ve been conditioned to believe how important education is, among other things…and I’m not a rebelling against the belief of how imperative higher education is in today’s world. That is definitely not what I’m doing, I’m all for education. What I’m saying is that all these years everyone focussed too much on education, graduating, grad school, getting accepted, finding a job, networking, and being someone and ignored all the little things. And let me just say this: little things add up. It’s the little things that mean the most.
In school we were taught to count by twos, and conjugate verbs. We were taught the mistakes of the past and the achievements of those who have come before us. We were taught to revolve our lives and futures around the massive realm of education.
How come we weren’t taught to be happy, lead a happy life, be better people, build healthy relationships? Why weren’t we taught emotions, love, the path to self-fulfillment and values?
Essentially what we’re taught in school is that education means work, and work means money and money means luxury and happiness. Of course none of them will ever admit it, but that’s the core idea isn’t it? Obviously this a controversial topic that could be debated, but that’s beside the point.
I don’t want to revolve my life around grad school, getting a job, building a career and chase money all my life. I want to be a better person, have a family, enjoy the little moments in life…essentially be happy.
It actually is harder than it seems.
We spend so much time working towards a future, a career, and a life of luxuries, but for what? It can all be taken away from us in a snap of a finger. Why invest and secure our future when life itself has no security, no insurance, absolutely no guarantee that you’ll wake up the next morning. If there’s anything that I have realized it’s that half the time we’re chasing after things that don’t even matter and tend to ignore and overlook the things that do. Perhaps the greatest irony in life is that the more we achieve the more we lose. The more we have, the less we’ve got to lose. With every step forward we take two back. There’s more abhorrence then there is love. Nice gear and improved quarters but less homes and atrocious values. Things that should matter sadly don’t and things that shouldn’t are constantly emphasized… Paradoxical contrast, no? Life’s a gamble…the least we could to for ourselves at dusk is promise ourselves a life of no regrets for if and when we awaken at dawn.